I don’t think people really realize it all that much, but the way you see yourself and present yourself, not at an attractiveness standpoint, but at a physical presence standpoint, can have a huge impact on the way you are treated.
Have you ever noticed that when you’re out in public, on the street for example, there are certain people that are almost non existent and on the opposing side there are the people that you notice a mile away that you automatically take note of while deliberately moving out of their way?
While at first glance you may think that the former are just underdressed or someone you generally wouldn’t have any interest in while the later may seem like the rare exceptional person, but what if I told you that’s not the case?
What if I told you that the difference between these two groups is largely to do with the way they stand, they way they walk and the amount of physical presence they demand out of the room.
This may sound weird, random or crazy to people who have never spent a second thinking about how the way they stand affects their surrounding, but this is something I’ve been working on for several months now.
Over the several experiments I have tested out over the past months, the most telling was of my time spent in Venice, Italy.
During my time spent there amongst tens of thousands of other tourists I put the opposing standpoints up against each other while walking against the flow of people.
In the first instance I walked with my shoulders in, I looked at the ground while walking to avoid eye contact and just tried to make myself as little as possible.
During this period I was often pushed around, I spent much of my time weaving in and out of people, I began to feel little and was beginning to get frustrated with how there was no respect with the fact that I wanted to go the other way.
In comparison, when I made the effort to make myself known, when I stood up straight, shoulders back, took up as much space as possible and looked people directly in the eyes I didn’t only get peoples attention but I began to feel much more confident.
When walking against the flow of traffic I hardly ever had to move out of the way of people, they almost always moved out of the way for me. On top of this when people were on their phones or walking to the side of me they began to make an effort to take notice of me and started looking at me as if I were someone important.
By being conscious of the way I presented myself in public I was respected.
People that are respected don’t get pushed around. Whether it be in public or in business, if people think they can walk all over you, they will.
To this day I do whatever I can to present myself with confidence and power, not so I can walk over people, but to take the respect that I deserve. It is my belief that everyone deserves the respect that I get now, but it’s something that is taken, not given.
As an added bonus, the more you respect yourself, stand with confidence and demand respect in the physical sense, the more powerful you’ll feel and in turn the more confident you’ll feel in any situation.
Don’t get pushed around, be confident.