Lesson’s From My Life Coach Jan

We live in a time where it’s easy to confront people, not because we’ve gotten any better at it but because we’ve made it easier to hide behind things. 

In the previous generations if you wanted to talk to someone about something, about an issue that you were having or they were having, you would have to go to their face and talk to them directly, you would have to muster up the courage to say to their face the things that you were feeling.

As time has moved on we’ve made it easier and easier to deal with this. Once the cellphone was invented we were instantly able to be less confrontational, it became easier to deal with your issues and feelings because you could call someone up and tell them. It became a great device for doing business, keeping in contact with people and not having to deal with people in person in uncomfortable situations.

From there cellphones were given the ability to text and we were soon able to post things online and comment our thoughts and suggestions behind a profile, further distancing ourselves from actual confrontation.

The beauty in what happened with this is that we’ve been able to express more easily how we truly feel about things. This being said, there are several issues with this as well. The one thing that I want to point out is that this creates an unfair environment.

When it comes to communicating, being able to express yourself in words, verbally or in person, is great. The devices we have to communicate are life changing and have created a more connected world that allows us to do business anywhere.

When it comes to a personal level though, written words are only 7% of communication. When speaking over text, email, social media, etc. it becomes very easy to get your words across, but they are often misconceived as we all think differently.

If all your communication is done through text and written word then there is no fair communication. If all contact is in written form then there is no way for either parties to truly express themself, to truly get their thoughts across and even worse, neither side has the chance to respond naturally with how they truly feel.

When you can get someone on the phone, communication starts to go up drastically. Verbal tone accounts for 38% of communication and allows you to bring your points across more effectively, it allows you to shape the words that you’re saying and instead of having everything perceived, it becomes fact by the way you say it.

Beyond this, the final 55% of communication is body language. By being able to see someone’s physical response, to see how they present themself while speaking, we are able to truly understand their message and how they feel. Do they have their arms crossed while looking the other way or are they smiling with open arms?

The best relationships in this world are the ones that are spent physically with someone. We can understand the person better and make a stronger connection. 

Although it’s amazing to be able to spend physical time with someone, it’s not always possible. With all of this said, written communication is still an amazing way to keep in contact. Sometimes writing a letter or text is exactly what you need to do, keep in mind though that it’s not necessarily fair to the other side if all you give them is written communication when talking about something serious.

At the end of the day, the people we spend our lives with and the relationships that we create are the most important thing both to our success and our happiness, is it not worth the confrontation to create a stronger and real connection?

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